📅 Honest review of my first months as a painter
#62 the artist training nobody talks about
Dear little demon,
Welcome to the edition #62 of The Art Missive. We are now 11,969 😈in this newsletter! Whether you've been here from the start or just arrived, thank you so much for reading ❤.
If you haven't already, you can also:
Read all the previous Art Missives
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In this Missive:
1/ Intro.
2/ Mission failed?
3/ The real training.
4/ Next steps.
1/ Intro.
It’s Thursday and I'm packing my bags for a weekend getaway with my girlfriends. As I prepare my things, I realize that this escapade feels like the perfect opportunity to disconnect from everything and reflect on my training over the past two months…
After my intense course with my mentor in april, I announced that I wanted to withdraw from social media and enter "Naruto training mode" with 3 goals:
Paint every day to apply my mentor's teachings
Draw once a week
Complete 3 new artistic projects by June
Well, it's June now, and I can officially admit that I'm not the perfect hero because nothing went as planned.
In two months, I haven't finished a single canvas. The pages of my sketchbook are still mostly blank, and my projects have remained in the ideation stage.
"But how could I fail so badly?" I asked myself.
Welcome to edition #63 of The Art Missive, where I take you on a girlfriends' trip in the mountains and give an honest assessment of my first few months as a painter.
2/ Mission failed?
"And you Léa? How are your creations going lately?"
I rest my head on the car window ledge as my 3 friends look at me with kindness. Before me, magnificent Vosges mountain landscapes unfold. I feel at peace, aligned.
In the car, lulled by a vacation atmosphere, I explain my last few weeks to them.
After spending 3 intense weeks in Paris learning powerful oil painting techniques from an art virtuoso, I expected to come home and practice every day to apply his teachings. I could see myself training hard, spending dozens of hours locked in my studio painting, chaining projects with my ideas fusing in all directions…
But what really happened was... Nothingness. As you know from reading my recent missives, I was suffering from a terrible art block, and I remained paralyzed by my exhaustion and insecurities..
But as I confided in what seemed to be a crushing failure, one of my friends said:
"I don't think you've stagnated at all, you've completely changed your approach to art. Before, you didn't even introduce yourself as an artist. You only talked about business. Now, all you talk about are your next projects, your artistic difficulties, your vision of art... You've changed."
In the little car speeding along, lost in the middle of emerald mountains and an endless sky, I realized that I had indeed already begun my true artistic training. The past two months, while I hadn't produced any finished works, had been transformative in subtle but profound ways.
3/ Real training.
Sometimes, training isn't what we think it is.
In Kill Bill, when Beatrix Kiddo goes to meet Pai Mei to learn the art of combat, she has to climb hundreds of steps to reach the temple of her future master. Expecting to learn martial arts and fighting techniques, she hadn't realized that her training began with the ascent of those steps. Many facets of her training were geared towards fortifying the mind and instilling humility, rather than solely focusing on combat techniques, showing how mastering combat skills was just the final stage in a comprehensive journey toward becoming a proficient fighter.
And what about me? What if my training had already begun, even without touching a brush?
What if I had actually spent the last few weeks climbing the steps without realizing it?
The next morning, as I walked through the mountainous landscapes, I realized that, even though I hadn't picked up a brush, I was busy accomplishing an important task: training my mind. You know, over the past few years, I've continuously mistreated my creativity, leading to self-depreciation, burnout, and total artistic paralysis. Before I could create again, I needed to rebuild my relationship with my art. And without even realizing it, those were the steps I had begun to climb as in recent weeks, I had implemented drastic measures:
I dismantled the Regard Noir content creation system that had been stifling my art for years (read about that here and here)
I overcame impostor syndrome and built my identity as an artist (read about that here)
I learned to rekindle my passion by reading so many art books and funny creativity courses.
I created a virtual mentor to keep me on track (read about that here) .
And most importantly, I prioritize my art above all other aspects of my life. So, while I hadn't produced any finished works in the past two months, I was still learning to think, breathe, and live like an artist.
4/ Next steps.
This weekend escape proved to be a pivotal moment for me. Surrounded by my closest friends, we wandered through picturesque countryside, savored delicious meals, and delved into our respective creative projects. It provided a serene respite in nature, allowing me to reflect on the past two months and prepare for the journey ahead.
Now that I'm back from this refreshing retreat, I can finally share: the initial phase of my training—the mindset phase—is drawing to a close.
I've spent countless hours repairing my relationship with art, dismantling unhealthy systems and building my identity as an artist. It's been a transformative journey, but now I'm ready to take action. And after climbing the hundreds of steps and strengthening my mind, I'm prepared for the ultimate step: practice.
In the words of Rick Owens, it's time for me to "shut up and produce," letting my brushes speak for themselves. Rather than fixating on perfection, my focus is on accumulating painting hours to hone my craft. And to kickstart this new phase, I've set myself a challenge: completing a painting within a week. It's an ambitious goal, but I'm excited to embrace the challenge and embark on this next chapter with renewed determination.
Voilà, that's all from me, see you next week! 😈
Léa