😨 Making art makes me anxious
#60 my virtual mentor
Dear little demon,
Welcome to the edition #60 of The Art Missive. We are now 11,972 😈 in this newsletter! Whether you've been here from the start or just arrived, thank you so much for reading ❤.
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In this Missive:
1/ Intro.
2/ Anxious.
3/ Never about skills.
4/ Finding mentors.
5/ My virtual mentor.
6/ Conclusion.
1/ Intro.
These days, I'm feeling very anxious. You only need to glance at the titles of my recent missives to see that.
Now that I've decided to step back from social media and prioritize my art, I thought things would be easier. I expected a creative flow to wash over me. Drawing and painting would be effortless. And I'd finally be able to experiment, have fun, and become a better artist.
But the truth is, having tortured my art for so long has left deep scars. And repairing a broken relationship between an artist and their art is easier said than done.
Shouting it from the rooftops wasn't enough so I had to take concrete actions. And fortunately, this week I found a solution.
Welcome to edition #60 of The Art Missive, where I build a simple tool to overcome artist's anxiety and break free from my creative block.
2/ Anxious.
"How are you doing these days?" I ask my best friend, concerned.
"I was about to ask you the same question," she replies with a smile.
We've known each other for over 10 years, so it's easy for us to detect when the other isn't doing well. Today, we're sitting in my studio, working on our personal goals in a good atmosphere. The sun is shining, birds are singing outside, yet we're both anxious.
She begins:
"You know, I'm trying to launch my graphic design business. I'm working a lot, but it's hard. I don't know if what I'm doing is good enough. I feel like I'm falling behind. I feel worthless, I don't know which direction to take, and working is starting to generate stress. Even creating has become a source of anxiety!"
Her words hit me like a ton of bricks. Here was my incredibly talented best friend, someone whose natural gift for graphic design I had always admired, questioning her own abilities and potential for success. It seemed so clear to me, as an outsider looking in, that she had everything it took to make it big.
"You have the skills, the drive, the passion," I reassured her. "The only thing standing between you and success is your own self-doubt and anxiety."
But as those words left my mouth, a sudden realization dawned on me: I was in the exact same boat with my own art.
For months now, I had been grappling with the same crippling fears and uncertainties that my best friend was describing. Every time I sat down to draw or paint, I found myself overwhelmed.
3/ Never about skills.
The afternoon with my best friend left me feeling unsettled, our conversation about creative anxiety playing on repeat in my mind. So the next day, I was determined to get to the root of the problem.
I sat down at my desk to face the question head-on: why does creating art fill me with such overwhelming anxiety ?
As artists, we often find ourselves in a paradoxical situation. The very thing that brings us the most joy—the act of creation—can also be the source of our greatest anxiety. When self-doubt creeps in, the first thing we tend to do is question our artistic abilities, as if somehow, overnight, we've lost the skills we've spent months or even years cultivating.
But here's the truth: it's never really about the skills themselves. It's about how we perceive ourselves and our work.
It reminds me of a powerful lesson I learned from the artist Miles Yoshida during his anchoring class at New Master Academy. He demonstrated the direct impact our mindset has on our drawing process by showing how a restless inner dialogue could alter the ink lines he was tracing.
Looking back over the past few months, I could see how this principle had been playing out in my own work. I had let the fear of not producing something unique, the pressure of not disappointing you... or worse, disappointing myself, take over my art. And the result? I couldn't create at all.
But now that I have dug into the problem, the real challenge lies in silencing that inner critic and rediscovering the pure, unadulterated joy of the creative process.
4/ Finding mentors.
For a mindset problem, I needed to find a mindset solution. I remembered a quote I had come across recently about the importance of finding mentors:
"A mentor is someone who sees more talent and ability within you, than you see in yourself, and helps bring it out of you." - Bob Proctor
As a self-taught artist, I've often felt like I was on a long, challenging hike. Even though the scenery is beautiful, the path is tough, and you're never quite sure if you're headed in the right direction or when you'll reach your destination. It's easy to feel alone or even give up along the way.
Finding a mentor is like finding someone who has already completed this journey. They can't walk the path for you, but they can improve your experience and, most importantly, show you how to keep going no matter what.
Of course, finding an artist mentor isn't always easy. I'm fortunate to have Vladislav Yashin as my oil painting tutor. Whenever I felt overwhelmed about oil painting, his guidance and support have been invaluable. But unfortunately he's not always available, no one can! So I thought it could be beneficial to find mentorship in other forms.
5/ My virtual mentor.
Living in the French countryside, far from any artistic capital, I often feel isolated in my creative journey. I don't have artist friends nearby, let alone successful artists to guide me. It's just me, alone in my studio, grappling with the challenges of creating art and building a career.
But then I realized, in this digital age, I don't have to be limited by geography. Thanks to resources like the internet, books, podcasts, and newsletters like this very Art Missive you're reading, it's now possible to access the wisdom and experiences of our favorite artists from anywhere in the world.
So, I decided to create my own virtual mentor by compiling the most helpful quotes and interviews into a single document that I could revisit multiple times a day. A roadmap of sorts, to guide me through the ups and downs of the creative process and remind me to stay focused on what truly matters.
Here are the key criteria I set for my virtual mentor:
Criterion 1: It should be easily accessible, not only for reading when I need it but also for adding new insights as I discover them. For now, I've decided to keep it as a simple note on my phone, always within reach.
Criterion 2: It must address my specific challenges and provide clear guidance when my mind is clouded with doubt. To achieve this, I've organized the quotes by challenges, such as "for when you're procrastinating", "when things feel hard." or “when you’re scared”...
Criterion 3: It should integrate seamlessly into my daily life, like a mentor offering timely reminders and course corrections. Firstly, I've made a habit of consulting my virtual mentor first thing every morning. By starting my day with this positive mindset boost, I set myself up for a more productive and inspired day. Secondly, I've created an automation on my iPhone that opens my motivation file whenever I access potentially anxiety-inducing or procrastination-prone apps like Instagram, YouTube, or my Google Calendar.
In a way, this virtual mentor can become a constant companion on my artistic journey, offering wisdom, encouragement, and perspective whenever I need it most. It's not a substitute for real-life mentorship, of course, but it's a powerful tool that can be used by any artist and that can grow and evolve alongside each one of us, as we continue to learn and discover new insights.
6/ Conclusion
This weekend, what remotivated me the most was realizing one thing: It's ok to have downs, to be anxious, and to doubt.
Nowadays, we think we're doomed to fail because we weren't born exceptional. Yet, all successful entrepreneurs and artists say the same thing: it's by building yourself into a winner that you manage to work hard and win.
From now on, whenever I find a quote that motivates or inspires me, I add it to my virtual mentor. Of course, I could improve it over time. Make it more conversational or user-friendly! In the coming months, for example, I could train chatGPT to lift my spirits and advise me when I have doubts. But these solutions can be energy-consuming to implement, whereas a motivation note is easy to create and available right away.
Each virtual mentor must be unique to each artist, but I thought I'd leave you with 3 of my favorite quotes to inspire you to create your own motivation note:
For when I'm too much of a perfectionist: "You have to shut up and work and work and work all the time and produce and produce and produce. And the more you produce, the more your character or your talent will emerge. (...) As long as you work and make enough things to choose from, you'll be able to have an edit that becomes who you are" Rick Owens.
For when it gets too hard: "I get happier about the harder it is because I know that no one else will follow, it's the selection effect, and I think if you could shift from this is hard to no one else would be able to do this, then it flips from being this thing ‘oh poor me’ to ‘oh poor everyone else who is going to have to fucking try!’" Alex Hormozi
For when the little voice tells me I can't paint: Vincent van Gogh once wrote in one of his letters "If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced."
A little bonus for when you’re holding yourself back: "You are an artist, everything is possible for you now" Vladislav Yashin said to me during our meeting.
Voilà, that's all from me, see you next week! 😈
Léa